Recently I have been racking up the “You’re the worst” trophies from my son. I have one trophy for telling my son TWO WEEKS EARLY, like a big dumb dumb, about going to Pops’ cabin. I also racked up another trophy on Monday of the the week before by accidentally packing all the sandwich meat in the house and taking it to work instead of putting it back in the fridge. With this one, my wife called asking if I took the meat and in the background all I heard was my helpless little buddy in the background screaming “Samich! Sam SAMICH!!!!!!!!” Yes, that is how I feel you would spell my son saying the word sandwich.
My most recent fail though was actually caught on some security footage, here is the picture.
I know, not exactly a win in the ol’ dad arena, but at least this picture captures my muscular physique.
So, the background to this story is that my in-laws went down to Florida, partly for work and also for a bit of fun in the sun. On the way back they stopped at this place called the Donut Hole. The Donut Hole is a pretty big deal with a lot of great varieties of donuts. My wife and I really enjoyed it the last time we were able to go, so her parents decided to get all of us some treats.
Well the next morning after receiving this little box of heaven I decided I was going to eat a couple of donuts. My wife never mentioned anything about her parents picking out specific ones and I thought my wife wanted a particular red velvet donut she talked about it the night before and sadly, I never even thought of my son wanting a specific donut…horrible, I know. So I took two donuts, heated them up in the microwave for a little, ate them and head on my merry way to work.
I get a call a couple hours later when Sam and Lindsay are downstairs about to get their breakfast and my wife opens with this line, “Did you eat Sam’s donut?” Instantly, my heart sank and I dusted off another place on my desk to put one more of the “You’re the worst” trophies. She told me that the one with chocolate icing and sprinkles was bought specifically for him, and she then follows up and asks if I ate hers. I mean punch me right in the throat. How well do I even know my wife? Silly me thought to leave the fancy creative donuts, but I am the one who likes those, not the plain ones that my wife actually enjoys. I mean who knew that after almost six years of living with a person you could still be learning things about the them.
Well, here is to getting two more “You’rethe worst” trophies from my son in one week and to also learning more about my wife. Guys, the struggle is real.